Why Can't We Have A Decent Treasure Island Movie?? Thoughts On Casting, Etc.

So, this evening, I just watched Disney's Treasure Planet for the very first time. Yes I know it was released in 2002...don't judge me. While I was watching it, I started wondering: is there a "good" movie version of the actual book? I have seen the Muppet version, but I have always felt that R.L.Stevenson's Treasure Island deserves a movie that is not Muppet-ized or Disney cartoon-ized.

Naturally, I hopped on IMDb to see what was up. It looks like there have been plenty of adaptations of the book: 1990, 1998, and most recently, a TV movie made in 2012, but none of these look exactly wonderful (correct me if I'm wrong, I mean, I haven't actually seen any of them). They either look old or badly produced. The 1990 one could be interesting, looks like the best bet for a decent film, but it is 30 years old (nothing wrong with that but I feel like an updated version is in order).

The 2012 version basically relies on the fact that Elijah Wood plays Ben Gunn, which is horribly miscast (again, don't get me wrong, Elijah Wood is a great actor, but Ben Gunn is NOT his character). 2012 also looks much less family-friendly than any other adaptation, which I don't think was Stevenson's intent: I think he was intending his story to be read by adults and children, though of course I'm no expert. And, of course, there is fighting, it's a pirate movie--there's going to be a little violence, but can we keep it at a Pirates of the Carribean style of violence, please? (Plus, it's a TV movie...not a feature film.)

So hear me out: a new, feature-length production of Treasure Island that is accurate to the book, well done, and has good acting. Is that too much to ask? Probably, since I'm not a Hollywood producer....

Of course I have to share my ideas on casting, etc...because what would be a movie idea without casting ideas????? What would be the point????

Let's start off with the protagonist, Jim Hawkins. He's about 15, a good kid, works hard, needs a father figure in his life, and of course he has to be a precious cinnamon roll who must be protected. He seems like a really sweet kid who gains courage and agency throughout the story. I know a lot of you are thinking "Tom Holland, Tom Holland!!!"

To that, I say:

Mr. Tom Holland is not correct for Jim Hawkins, I'm sorry. My idea is actually someone around his age, but not quite as famous. You remember Bard's son from The Hobbit? 

Remember???? This guy??? 

That's who I think of as Jim Hawkins: John Bell. He's grown a bit since The Hobbit, but still has a very young face, and I think he could pull of a 15-year-old pretty well. He's a blond in real life, which is a no from me, Jim is a brunette OBVIOUSLY, but ya know...that sort of thing is easily changed in the movie industry. 

On to the next characters, Dr. Livesey and Squire Trelawney. You'll have to forgive me because I haven't read the book in a While, but I'm remembering him being a kind, logical, serious, and competent fellow...of course, I'm going to cast someone who I think could fill that role very well. He isn't too young or too old, and I think he's played enough heroic main characters (or villains...). It's time for Tom Hiddleston to step into a logical, gentle mentor role as the kind doctor. 

As for Squire Trelawney, I feel like he's kind of the rich sponsor of their adventure, the one who is all excited about setting out but really doesn't know how to go about the mission...he gives them money and decides to tag along, basically. So, I'm thinking that Dan Stevens could perform a somewhat clueless, cheerful sponsor. 

I know this is from Sense and Sensibility, but still...

All right, on to Captain Smollet! He is a competent, shrewd sailor who is hired (by Trelawney and Livesey) to captain the hired crew and the ship. He recognizes most of the crew as the pirates that they are and is uncomfortable from day one, but still faithfully does his duty. I'm thinking Martin Freeman for this role. 

This leads us to the exceedingly tricky task of trying to pin down an actor for Long John Silver. He is a pirate in every way. HOWEVER, he also becomes a sort of father figure to Jim, at least for a while. He's a Bad Guy, but he's not totally evil. He is also brilliant in a pirate-y way, and people listen to him. I think that Matthew McConaughey would do a great job capturing both Long John's villainous side and his soft side. In addition, he also has the kind of molasses-drawling voice that I imagine Long John would use to cajole people into joining his side. 

From the 2012 film Mud, which I have not seen

Billy Bones is one of the trickiest to cast, I think. He's an old, washed-up pirate who ends up spending his last days alive in Jim's mother's inn, hiding from the black spot. He's gruff, refuses to pay bills for his excessive drinking, and eventually dies in the inn, leaving behind the treasure map that spurs the whole adventure. I'm almost tempted to cast Liam Neeson, but I am really unsure about this one. Also, using Sean Bean as the "haunted guy who dies" is just cliche and I could never live with that...

AH-HA! Andy Serkis as Billy Bones!

Before the only female character in the film (Mrs. Hawkins), I think that the role of Ben Gunn, a marooned sailor/ex-pirate who is able to start a new life, belongs to Mark Ruffalo. I'm not totally sure why, but the role seems to fit him.

And lastly, Mrs. Hawkins, Jim's mother. This is actually not a huge part, but it is central to Jim's character, and so she is important. I would like to see Emily Watson as Jim's mother. She has a motherly face, but can pull of the matter-of-fact, shrewd personality required by a woman running an inn with only her son's help. 

Also here's a quick collage putting all of the pictures together...I literally threw this post together so I apologize for how haphazard it is! 

So there we have it, folks! These are just my ideas for a new Treasure Island  movie...any thoughts?