Snippets From My English Professor

So, what with the semester wrapping up and everyone struggling through finals week, I thought I would share a college-related post that is not related to anything stressful! I have had the great fortune to be in an excellent "Introduction to Literary Studies" class this past semester, with one of my favorite professors to date.

I'm not going to mention any names, but to give you an idea of this professor's character, I will just say that he has been a professor for years at my school, is very passionate about Chaucer, writes on the blackboard in the Black Speech of Mordor to make a point about translation and transliteration (a long story), is technologically challenged, brilliant, and can make a rabbit trail out of anything.

He is also incredibly gifted at delivering pithy, remarkable comments while he is lecturing and discussing literature, and I started writing them down every time he said something funny or clever.

And so, here, I present you with a collection of useful sayings, which you can use to perplex and amuse your friends, relations, and enemies.

***

"I'm not going to read every bit of the syllabus, but I expect you to."


"I have a civic responsibility to point out correct MLA form to you."

*all the dry erase markers are dead*
*accidentally uses Sharpie on the whiteboard and can't erase it*
"I dearly love a chalkboard!"


"We don't say, 'What a slovenly cat.' That would be weird, even for me."


"Why should you use MLA??? Because I'm telling you to!"


"Even though I am always right and occasionally brilliant, I do sometimes cling too strongly to my own opinions."


*using technology*
"I don't like this, but I'm being a good citizen."


*to computer*
"Are you not on, oh strange machine?"


*in response to a comment*
"Yes, but that's not, at the present moment, relevant."


Student: "So how much of the play has to be suffering for it to be a tragedy?"
Professor: "Three minutes and forty-seven seconds...any less than that and you have a comedic tragedy."


Student: "So what's your opinion on 'No-Fear Shakespeare'?"
Professor: *hisses and backs into a corner*


Student: "Nice sweater, Professor."
Professor: "I try."


"You have lured me out into linguistic waters were my knowledge is too shallow."


"Don't ask me a question - brilliant as I am, I do not know everything."


*telling about a past search for plain felt material*
"It was a FABRIC store and they didn't sell FELT! I STILL haven't gotten over it..."


*makes a point*
*long pause*
*raises hand to continue*
"Yes."
*lowers hand*


*after thinking someone raised their hand for a question*
"Then I'm just hallucinating - I do that from time to time."


*talking about the "poppies" scene in The Wizard of Oz*
"Apparently, snow is an antidote to opium - cool!"


*computer brings up no results for an online library search*
"Surely, you jest!"


"No!"
*stands on chair*
"NO! That's not how professional literary analysis works!!"


*talking about his job as a professor*
"We aren't paid to remember things."


"And today we make lots of typos..."


"I'm not completely convinced, but you make a strong argument."


*on seeing former students outside of class*
"I will forget your name...but I will know exactly who you are."

***

And there you have it! I hope you enjoyed the excellent sayings of my English professor...now to leave you with one last quote...used to dismiss the class on one occasion: 

"Go swing for the fences, my metaphorical children!"

The Fantastical and Felicitous Character Blog Tag

Well, today I have another tag for you all!

I have been tagged by Natalie for this one, so thank you!! :) Let's dive right in...I'm eager to get this done because it's all about fictional characters...and I always love talking about them. :D

Rules:
•Answer every question honestly. 
•Use as many gifs and images as possible. *ehehehe*
•Incorporate at least one YouTube video with a favorite scene of a character.
•NO VAGUE ANSWERS ALLOWED. Explain why you chose that favorite character to fit that description. I love details, my friends.
•If you can’t choose just one, that’s okay – give us a few answers and geek out if that’s what it takes.
•Tag at least 3 people.
•Use fictional characters from any fictional story.
•If you get nominated and/or decide to participate in this tag, please put a link back to this post in your post and credit yours truly (Emily at The Altogether Unexpected, *whose original post is excellent*) as the creator.
•Have fun and obsess over fictional characters! 

*consults Pinterest, my bookshelf, and the furthest reaches of my movie-watching history*

Goody-two-shoes: A character who was just so morally good

Good old Mr. Knightley...he is such a GOOD person that the extent of his goodness is almost unrealistic, if you know what I mean. Of course, I still think he's a wonderful character. He is always watching out for everyone at once, but isn't afraid to give people what-for if they are being stupid. ("Badly done, Emma!") And when he dances with Harriet at the ball, when nobody else dances with her and she's so lonely....awwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heartbreaker: A character who made you cry?

I am ashamed to admit this, but Miguel and Mama Coco from Pixar's Coco made me sob like a BABY. It was so beautiful but also so heartbreaking, and I love it...the way he simply picks up the guitar and sings, and how she remembers it....*sobbing* It really hit home. 

*weeping*

Parrot: A character who won’t stop talking

Holdo (she doesn't even deserve the title of "admiral" or "vice-admiral") from The Last Jedi. 

Now, she doesn't talk and talk and talk in the sense that Sid the Sloth does. But when she DOES talk, she takes things way too far. She says the wrong things at the wrong time and refuses to tell people the right things, the things that would help their situation. For instance...had she told Poe what her real plan was, he wouldn't have gone gangsta on her. Instead, she insulted him to his face and told him to leave. So rude. 

Devilish: Your favorite villain

Aw yessss!! I enjoy well-written villains, and there are a plethora. Saruman, Loki, Iago...I know the original post had Iago, so I won't steal that, though.  And even though Loki is is Fantastic, I think I'm going to be a little bit unconventional and pick...Megamind. 

Now, I know that TECHNICALLY, Megamind turned good in the end..."he was just a silly and misunderstood person," you may say. 

However, hear me out:  at the beginning of the movie, he is breaking out of prison, where he is supposed to serve multiple life sentences. We aren't sure exactly what he has done, but things have been blown up, Roxanne Ritchie has been kidnapped many, many times, and everybody knows that Megamind is a terrible villain. As soon as their hero is gone, they stop treating him like a joke, and we see the city in terrible ruin after Megamind takes control. 

Therefore, he is, in fact, a villain - a SUPER one.

Love interest: A character who, if alive in reality, you would want to marry

Now, this is a tricky one. Before I answer, let me make it clear that I am married, have been since last July, and there is no fictional character EVER who I would choose over my dear husband, who is a fantastic individual and my favorite person. Not if I had a chance to make a character real would I choose another man to marry. 

So, with that being said...

I'm currently studying the movie Interstellar for a screenwriting class and falling more in love with the film every time I watch it or read the screenplay or do any research. Cooper (which is his last name but they never use his first, which is, we think, Joseph) is simply a wonderful character. He's not a simple character, but the way that he loves his children!!! *sniffs heavily* I know he's not a "conventional heartthrob," but I have a soft spot for characters who are good fathers and loyal husbands. Cooper wears his dead wife's wedding ring all throughout the movie, sacrifices himself to save his kids, and is a super intelligent, down-to-earth guy. 

(Quick side note...my actual, real husband is also a loyal, intelligent, down-to-earth guy....HMMMM)

Here are two of my favorite scenes from the movie to illustrate--the first one is just before he sets off on a mission in space to save the world. The second is when he has been in space for over 20 years (due to time relativity and wormholes, I won't get into it, but now he and his daughter are the same age galaxies apart) and now gets to see the messages collected for him. You can see his love for his children on his face, and it's heartbreaking. (his angry daughter calls him something rude in the second one, and I apologize for that) 

"I love you forever, you hear me? I love you forever...and I'm comin' back." 

Sidekick: A character who was always loyal no matter what

:) :) :) :) 

Honestly, John Watson is THE SWEETEST and most noble, loyal sidekick ever. Yes, he grumps about Sherlock and is often annoyed, but he's always there, ready to help out. And this isn't just in Sherlock (I just happen to like Martin Freeman's Watson the best of all the Watsons), this is in every (almost) iteration of John Watson I have seen: annoyed, frustrated, but still always there to give a selfless helping hand. I found this picture of Sherlock and Watson in Tim Burton-esque art, and I thought it was rather well done. 

Complicated: A character you love and hate

Jack Sparrow...mainly because of his moral ambiguity. I mean, he is a pirate...a criminal, thief, drunkard, womanizer...but then, in the end, he always turns around and does something unexpectedly kind and Good. Plus, he's just absolutely hilarious, quirky, and fun, and I do love characters like that. 

Queen: A female character who you admire and aspire to emulate

Minerva McGonagall!!!! She really is a fantastic person...one of the only really great characters in the Harry Potter series, honestly. She's clever, strong, confident, a good teacher, and, although stern, has a soft heart underneath a tough exterior. 

Plus, her snarky sarcasm is absolutely the best...I can only hope to be such a clever and revered old woman someday. 

Savior: A character who oddly reminds you of Christ

Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities. The end of the book is a beautiful one, worthy of a few shed tears. Now, the thing is, Sydney isn't a "good" person. In most of the book, he is one of the least Christ-like characters in the story. But at the very end, he demonstrates amazing sacrificial love for his friends, and through that he realizes the sacrifice that Jesus made to save him, which kind of brings Sydney to salvation and calls him out of his sinful nature, into peace that can only be found in Jesus. Even as Sydney is beheaded, marching to the guillotine, he has a praise in his heart for Jesus and is not ashamed or afraid to die for his friends. 

All right, that's that! Thanks again, Natalie! Now to tag three other people....

Rakayle Hier
MovieCritic
and
MiddleEarthMusician

Have fun, everybody! :D


Goody-two-shoes: A character who was just so morally good

Heartbreaker: A character who made you cry?

Parrot: A character who won’t stop talking
Devilish: Your favorite villain
Love interest: A character who, if alive in reality, you would want to marry
Sidekick: A character who was always loyal no matter what
Complicated: A character you love and hate
Queen/King: A female/male character who you admire and aspire to emulate
Savior: A character who oddly reminds you of Christ